In Memory Of My Beloved Twin Sister

As Each day comes and goes, Im always reminded in some way or another of My Sister, whether its looking in a mirror and not seeing my reflection looking back but our reflection looking back at Me, I try not to keep mirrors up unless I have to just so I dont see the reflection more than I have to, or looking at My daughter and seeing some of the things she does or says that remind me of you.
They say with each passing day it will get easier, and everything happens for a reason.,I have learn to deal that you are not here with me, and thou I learn to deal with it, its not any easier as it was the first day you passed, it has become easier to get up in morning, but no easier bearing the loss of you.
I have so much to be thankful for, I have a woman who loves me and who I love , and love sharing my life with, a daughter who has taught me so much, but still, there is a void within me that I cannot seem to fill, a piece of me thats lost without you..
Our past haunts me, we can never choose what family we are born into, and how life pans out,so many bad memories, they haunt Me, they tear at my heart, wishing I had been older, to protect you, but knows that could never been, inside me I lash out, I want to hurt the ones who hurt us, we came in this world together, you 3 mins older, both of us sharing things that no one other than twins can ever understand, there is such a close bond, something deep within that only we can understand, you knew what I was thinking, you were my protector, I needed you as much as you needed me, we did everything together for 17 yrs, we cried together, we laugh together, we play together, we slept in same bed, if I got sick you got sick and vise versa., then that dreadful day came and you were in a car accident.
I sat with you, held your hand, and cried, you never woke, 3 days later, it was time to let you go, I remember kissing you and whispering to you, its ok you can go home now, I will be ok, and one day we will be together again and I kissed you and the doctor turn the machine off.
I couldnt go to your funeral, I couldn't bear to see you in the casket, its not what I wanted, I wanted My sister back, My life seem to fall apart, for yrs I seem to only exsist but never living, feeling numb all the time, and anger, anger at everyone our parents for being who they were, for not protecting us like parents promise when they have kids,at god for bringing us in this world and then taking you away, at you for leaving me here to carry alone.
Then a wonderful gift from god, My daughter, when she was born early, I remember being so scared, worried, then one nite in a dream you came to me, and said dont be afraid shes going to be ok, that you will always watch over her, and all will be alright, and she was just as you had told me in my dream, and again I saw you, for a split second I saw you, while my daughter was in her highchair, as if you were hovering over her, I dont know if it was because I was so tired, or dreaming, but you were there..
I have never seen you again, but I feel you, and I know your here with me, your My angel, you gave me strength to leave the bad place I was in when we were 17, you gave me the strength to be determined to survive and not let the anger swollow me, you gave me the strength to live for us both.
I cannot say I dont cry, cause I do, at least once a day I cry cause I miss you so much, but I know when that times comes you will be there waiting for me and once again we will be together..I love you Sandra and I miss you.

The Dungeon Chapter 2

Chapter 2


Frank phoned letting Me know he did what was asked of him and thalia was waiting for Me in the dungeon, I thanked him and told him there would be a check waiting for him at My office, he thanked Me and We hung up.
I left work, and made My way home, I was excited, I loved it at the beach house, the ocean was soothing, the sand so white, I had it built years ago when I had My first girl, she was more than that to Me, I loved her, we spent years together then she got sick and passed away, since then it was hard for Me to find one that could touch Me, we'll at least until last week, when I saw thalia for the first time, it had been so long since My heart skipped a beat.
When I looked into her eyes I could see her submissiveness in her, and I wanted her for Myself.
I pulled up to the house and parked My truck,I walked up the stairs and made My way into the house to the kitchen and set My briefcase down and decided to go change into something a lil more comfortable.
After I changed clothes I went back to the kitchen and I grabed a glass of ice water and took it with Me and made My way down to the dungeon, I could hear thalia, I could hear the fear in her voice, she cried out, who's there, who's there, I said shh lil one its ok, your ok , no one's going to hurt you, her arm was extended upwards, as her wrists were cuffed to some shackles on the wall, her eyes were blindfolded with a blackscarf, there was a light on ceiling that shine down on her making it easy for Me to see her but it would of been hard for her to see Me unless I came into the light...I walked up to her, and came up close to her, I could hear her breathing, smell the fear in her, you must be thirsty thalia, she cried out, who are you, why are you doing this to me, what do you want, let me go...
No thalia, there is no chance of Me letting you go, you belong to Me now and I have every intension of making you Mine, before this is over you will submit to Me, she said what are you speaking about , this is crazy, I said you were brought here for Me, now We have time to discuss this further but first thing is first, you must be thristy she went to say something else and I put My hand gentle over her lips, shh, dont speak, drink this water, I put it up to her lips and she dranked, I took a piece of ice and rubbed it over her lips so her lips would not be so dry.
She was so beautiful, her hair was so soft, I began running My hand over her hair, she flinched, shh it's ok thalia, no ones going to hurt you, she said pls let Me go, no thalia, cooporate and all well go well for you, dont and you will be punished for it, your choice..
Thalia began tugging at the shackles, I shook My head, thalia, trust Me you can tug and tug all you want but will get no where, they are solid, and will not give way
Thalia said do I know you who are you, how do you know me, I said we have meet and I find you to be a very stunning woman, where have we meet asked thalia, you will know soon enough thalia.
I moved back up to her, and looked at her, I could tell she was tired, she been there for hours now, I began caressing her body slowly moving My hand over her body, slowly caressing every inch of her body she try to pull away,I grabed her pushing My body agaisnt her, her arms up above her head, she wasnt going anywhere, her breast went up and down as I was up against her, My hot breath, breathing on her, I was getting so worked up over her, I wanted her badly, I slide My hand between her legs and touched her pussy, she cried, stop, pls dont, thalia! if you dont be quiet I will put a ball gag on you, I will do what I want and you will let Me, she said no, Bitch! get away from Me, I felt her wetness, I could tell in some way this was exciting her, yet she was scared., thalia for your disrespect you will stay for the remainder of the nite, and if you learn to control your mouth then we can go further with your training, she yelled never..
I warned you about your mouth lil one, I went to a big metal trunk, and opened it up, pulled out a ball gag and placed it around her mouth fastening it from the back, turned walked out and turned out the light and left her there for the nite.


Chapter 1, The Beauty

The Beauty Chapter 1

Chapter One


I was sitting at the table located in the back of the restraunt, it was a dark corner but the light from the candle gave me just enough to be able to see, the food here was pretty good, and I loved the quietness that surrounded me , gave me the time I needed to clear my head, as I was eatting, I looked up scoping out the room as I usually do , when all of a sudden coming thru the door was a beautiful blonde hair lady, she was wearing a long black evening gown, her legs were long they seem to go on forever, she wore black heels, her lips were full and she had big round blue eyes , blue like the sea, she was stunning, she was accompany by what I could only think was her boyfriend or husband, she had her hand wraped around his arm..
They were taken to their table, the hostess pulled out the chair for her , I watched her take her seat, she was so graceful, I couldnt believe how stunning she was, I could not take My eyes off of her..
As I kept My eyes on her, I noticed her looking My way, I smiled softly at her, she smiled back, then she went back to her conversation, but every so often she would take a glimpse at me.
Finally it came time for Me to take my leave, as I walked by their table, I stopped and looked down at her and smiled, and softly whispered your a stunning lady, she smiled and blushed, I took her hand in Mine, and kissed her hand tenderly, the guy she was with did not seem happy about it at all, but even she did not seem to care what he thought, I said I hope to one day see you again, she said i would like that, and I turned and walked away..
As I came out the bell hop called for My driver to pull up,, and I climbed in and took My leave..
As the weekend slowly dragged byI could not stop thinking of her, finally I picked up the phone and made a call to Frank..
Frank was the one who took care of things that I ask, I told him about the woman I saw in the restraunt..Frank I want you to find out who she is, find out what you can about her, someone has to know something about her, he assure Me he would and would get back to Me..
With Frank on his way over it has been almost a week now since I saw her, I was excited about what he had learned of her.I heard Frank drive up so I open the door to wait for him to come in, Hello Ma'am Frank said, I greeted him back, pls come in, and have a seat, he said yes Ma'am.
He gave Me pictures and told Me her name was thalia, I thought how pretty her name was..
He said she was single that was just someone she dating now and again, and where she lived, her number, address, where she worked, she was a model I smiled as he gave Me all the information I needed, he was a loyal subject, after he was done, I told him, I want you to find her, and
bring her to Me, at My beachhouse in the dungeon he said yes Ma'am and I dismissed him...
I will have her for Myself

The Love of A Mother

When life begins to grow in your stomach, you think about how much you will teach your child and watch her grow, but now as I sit back and years have gone by, I wonder, who really taught who.

On Oct 28, 1988, you were born, 2 1/2 months early, weighing in at 3lbs and 15inches long, a good size baby for being that early, but life was not to be so kind to you, the pressure of having to come out early caused hemorage in your brain and swellage which caused you to develop cyrbal palsy..I had heard the word maybe so many times till I hated that word, maybe she will walk or crawl or speak, it was never what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear, but I had made up My mind you would do all those things as other kids do, I did your excercises as they showed me, I took you to specialists after specialist, it was a never ending job, started you in school early, anything and everything I could do to help you get thru all this, you had so many surgerys, each one I would think I cant take another one, I cant watch My girl hurt no more but each time you were strong, you hold on to Me and I would hold on to you,, we leaned on each other..
Sometimes it just take you a lil while longer than other kids but you always had this determination about you, and what ever you set your mind to you would do eventually...and you always made Me proud and still do...you have shocked so many people, broken all their scientific evaluation and shown that no one can hold you back.
You are almost 18yrs old now, ahh what a beautiful young woman you have grown up into and how so very proud I am to be your mother, for there is no greater gift god could give then someone so beautiful as you My beautiful daughter.
But now I know its you who taught Me, not Me who taught you, you taught me what it means to love unconditionally, you taught me how to love, laugh, cry, worry, fear, you are my teacher
I admire you, your strength, your will to live life, the goals you set for yourself, no one can ever hold you back, and I wait to see what else in life you will show me..
I love you pumpkin

An Angel

I think about how we meet, surfing the internet, bored and lonley, wondering what the next steps in My life would be, what journey was I suppose to go down, I was lost.
I have never felt so lost before in My life.
Then one day I went to one of yahoo rooms and I stumbled across this beautiful angel.
Her playful, cheerful seductive ways took my breath away, I thought I must be dreaming, this cannot be real..But each day I found Myself stumbling back into that room and hoping for a chance to speak to you again, and each day you come in smiling, and a wiggling, and playing around with Me, days turn to weeks and weeks turn into months, and each day we both found ourself getting wrapped up into each other and into each others real lives, both wanting more , needing more , never knowing what the future would hold, you being in one country I in another, you were married with 2 kids and I was going thru a divorce with 1 kid, but here we are almost 5 yrs later, both divorced, watching our kids grow up and still hanging in there, working towards us no matter how many obstacles we go thru...
We have had our ups and downs, even have thought of giving up, but we both realize we just cannot do that, its not what we want, our hearts and love are to entwined with each other, we just cannot imagine us being without the other.
And when I have any doubt, all I have to do is hear your voice and look into your eyes, and I see so much love there,, its something I could never have imagined two people could truly feel..

They say all things happen for a reason, and I sometimes think, I had to go thru all the bad, and broken heart, in order to recognize when a true angel would walk in my life, holding My new journey in her delicate hands, to show Me My direction in life, to finally take away My fears, lonleiness,, to give Me My life back and to remind Me who I am and what it means to truly love and be loved..you make Me feel complete, and there is nothing you would not do to be with me as there is nothing I would not do for you to be with you..

I also sit here and remember all our trips, the things we did, where we have been, I even want to go to the highest moutain and shout I LOVE MIRANDA...and let it echo throughout, so everyone can hear the confession of My love for you..all our endless love making, the way our bodys became one..everything in My heart, soul, and body tells Me you are the one I have waited for all My life, that god has given Me this chance to love and truly be loved, and to finally feel what I am truly worth to an angel.

Ti AMO Mi Amor

Crimes Of Passion

s

Crimes of Passion fill the night with each caress you grab me tight I hear you ,moan as I go down we embrace the night with no one around Your breath grows hot as we embrace I lay soft kisses on your face My love for you grows stronger with each passing touch I've never needed anyone this much You slightly moan as I touch your skin as you whisper softly "let's do it again" With love and passion we run wild exploring new experinces like a child You fill me up in every way and here with you I choose to stay Together forever I hope to be all for one just you and me I love you more than you'll ever know even more than I could possibly show Forever and ever I'll be true always together just me and you You bring me up as I lay you down I once was lost but now Im bound I love you forever this will always be til' death makes up part an into eternity

My Thoughts

Each morning I wake up, counting down the days of the next time I will see you and to give Me the strength to be strong and to have faith. Thru out the days I think of all we have done together, sometimes I remember how we sat by the lake and had lunch, talking, eatting cherrys and how I got you to spit out the cherry seed to see who could spit farther and you laughing saying this is so unlady like, and I did not care cause We laughed and laughed..I remember how we went to banff, the site was beautiful, but the beauty is no match for the beauty I see in your face as it lights up when you look at Me, you make Me feel as if Im on top of the world as if I try hard enough there is nothing I cannot do..I remember the first time I took you on a carriage ride, you said it was the first time you been on one, I was happy cause I could do that and I was the only one who had.The way we drove around Me driving and you on passanger side, and I catch you looking at Me,

Dance Me till the end of time

Dance me till the end of love

Dance me till the end of love
She whispered in her ear.
Hold me till the end of time
Let me know no fear.

As the moonlight caught her hair
She turned and she replied.
Pain, fear and sorrow shall be no more
For now I am by your side.

If you are afraid in future
Look beside you and I will be there.
If sorrow darkens your door
Don't suffer alone I too will care.

Pain you will not know
As I shall be there to protect.
I can't really offer you much
Only honesty, love and respect.

She told how she'd been down this road before
And how it caused her so much pain.
That she didn't want to feel that way
Couldn't handle that again.

I'll help you down this road she said
And if you fall I'll give you my hand.
If you don't have the strength to get up
I'll lie down beside you till you can.

What if you realize ..'m not what you're looking for
That I can't make your dreams come true.
I've already found more than I could ever wish for
And all of it lies within you.

But one thing I fear I can never give you
for which on me you can not depend.
I can't dance you till the end of love,
As this love has no end.


I love you bella!